Wednesday, 29 January 2014

SECRETS IN DATING

It was God who invented marriage and after He had created Adam He said it is not good for the man to be alone. It is still not good today for the man to be alone. Although the man may find it much easier living the single life, for a woman it can be a pain. Unlike the man who is able to have his children whenever he is ready, not so with the woman. She has a specific time in which to do so after which it becomes impossible.   Hence many a young woman become very anxious when they find themself single, with no suitor in sight.

It is the desire of many a young woman to find the right man and be married.  And while many reading this article will perhaps shrug their shoulders, and exclaim they do not wish to be married, however I am quite sure they will, when a suitable offer is given.

Marriage is a very important institution and therefore all should consider well before entering into marriage, and be sure that you are prepared in other words, are committed! No man or woman should enter into marriage unless both are committed.

All who are contemplating marriage should exercise wisdom when choosing that partner, have counsel, to ensure you are making the right choice. It is considered wisdom to have an elder speak to both the prospective bride as well as the groom. This elder could be a trusted friend with experience, or it could be your pastor, or friend of the family.  Here they should ask all the important questions and wait for answers. If satisfactory answers cannot be given, then you should postpone the wedding until you have gained more wisdom.

You may be asking what are some of the questions the woman should be asking as she contemplates marriage with this young man? The first question might be; do you love each other? It may sounds ridiculous to ask such a question of someone who wants to marry another, but we live in an age when people marry for all sorts of reason. Unfortunately so many have been told after they are married by their partner.   “I don’t love you.”

Another question of importance should be. "Do you know the nature of the companion you have chosen?"  "His family?  Are you aware of how he treats his mother?" So often we hear it said, “Love is blind.”  Many do not invest enough time and wisdom to study the individual they plan to spend the rest of their life with, only to marry them and realise they are not the one for them.

Another question. “Is there an ideal in your mind ? Many desire to be married, however when asked what kind of a wife or husband they want, and they would hesitate, or say “I don't know."  It is imperative to study the character and disposition of the one you intend to marry, as this could make a difference in your happiness or your sorrow.  A happy home or a home where the shadows always dwell; and no laughter is heard in the home.

In addition be specific, in what you want. Many women and men are not specific as to what kind of person they find attractive, they are indecisive about their preferences whether they like them tall or short, with dark hair or with light hair.

If a man admires a slim woman he should not marry a woman who is not slim; or his ideal will not be met.  Many a young woman knows what style shoe she likes, or handbag she prefers; but ask her what style of a husband she would have and she will tell you she doesn’t know, she has never thought about that, only it must be one who will support her.

Sadly we see so many who have married for this reason become separated and heartbroken as the marriage did not last. Marriage should be entered into when both parties are in love with each other and are fully committed.  Be sure about what you want, ensure that what you want is what you are getting. Take time to court slowly, and whatever you do remember this old maxim, “To marry in haste is to repent at leisure.” A treat you cannot afford.

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