Saturday, 12 October 2013


We fall in love, then we get married and we are told we live happily ever after. That is what we read when we were young and foolish to believe that happiness is automatic once you are married. 

Marriage is a beautiful institution, designed by God for the happiness of the two; however as love is a tender plant it has to be nourished and watered to grow into a strong tree. Happiness, therefore, is the fruit of this beautiful tree can be achieved only as each work to the good of the other.

The nature of man and the quality of the man is the mind of the man hence the word of God admonish us to desire the mind of Christ. 

Because the natural man has the tendency to backbite and slander, lies, be envious and jealous, proud and lazy; even drinking and extravagance, lust and petty quarrels become the practice of those whose mind has not been transformed by the renewing power of the great God of the universe. 

This trait has the potential to mar your happiness, even the happiness of the home. Wherever that home is found, be it in the country or in the city! Whether a home of luxury or a home of simplicity. Alas, it needs more than a beautiful residence to bring happiness to us.

The plan of God was for the happiness of all, it was his desire that the husband and the wife live in harmony and be happy; disagreements will come however this should not cause any to be uncaring or angry to the point of making the other partner life unbearable. 

Love should always be the foundation as only then happiness can be experienced, as you both grow through life.

There are different types of husbands found and though we all have our shortcomings we should strive to improve ourselves so that our lives can be a blessing to our family. 

The greatest truths are often the simplest; the truth which many of the smartest persons ever lived and failed to discover is revealed to the simplest. 

Husband's love your wife is the instructions given to the men; so let us take a look at some of the characteristics that men should avoid as they seek to make happy wives and happy homes.

 The Egotistical Biased and Bigoted Husband

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov says." The unhappy are egotistical, base, unjust, cruel, and even less capable of understanding one another than are idiots. Unhappiness does not unite people, but separates them."

This is the husband who is so self-absorbed with himself, that he has no time for anyone but himself, forgetting that now he is the head of the family, therefore he cannot live for self but rather for the good of the entire family. 

He is unsympathetic to the needs of his wife and family. Expecting too much of his wife and children. 

This type of husbands need to exercise more tolerance; he censures too much. He is what some would call a Mr know it all; until this type of husband sees himself as he truly is there can be no happy home.

The Self-Indulgent; Stingy and Gloomy Husband
"The morose one refuses to smile even when he has just had his teeth cleaned." Mason Cooley. 

Now with a temperament like this, there can be no sunshine in his family. This worrisome husband has a lot of work to do on himself, this is the best place for him to start. 

Wherever he is found there can be no sunshine, only cloud; He is so cantankerous the beam of light that should shine on his family by his patience and good humour, will not be forthcoming from him. 

He is too selfish to speak words of approval to the members of his family, especially to the one, of all others who should have his love and tender respect. This husband is ill-tempered, overbearing and dictatorial; his words are frequently cutting and leaves a wound.

The Fretful and Fidgety, Grumpy Husbands
"Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing, done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms..." Walt Whitman.

This type of husband is very anxious, always tense and nervous, he treasures the disposition to worry. They are like children who have not grown up. Fully grown but childish, they have not left their child life behind them. They suffocate their family with their childish tantrums and querulous complaints until the family cease to mature and blossomed into the vessels of honour God intended them to be.

The Dictatorial and Dominating Husband

"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste." Marcel Duchamp

The dominating husband needs to learn the lesson that life would be much happier if he recognizes that being the head doesn't mean tyranny, but rather standing side by side with your wife as her equal. That absolute authority was not vested in you by virtue of you being the husband and father. 

Do not abuse your position as the leader of the home to mean you should dictate to everyone, rather than allow the family to exercise their good judgement.

See to it your dictatorial attitude often manifested in your family does not affect your family adversely and expose your great lack of judgment. 

The Lazy and laid-back Husband 
"The hand of the diligent will rule, while the lazy will be put to forced labour."

This husband expects his wife to carry double burdens. He is unaware of the fact that the discipline of the children, the affectionate influence of the father is equally important; therefore it is important for him to take an active role in the training as well as the discipline of the children. This is not a task that should be left alone to mother. 

This type of husband neglects their duty but find it easy to condemn even become critical of their wives actions according to their judgement.

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